Mum was born as Valerie May Andrews on 14th August 1942 in Willersly Castle in Matlock Derbyshire. She was always fond of telling people she was born in a castle, and joked that it was downhill ever since. Although the worst of the blitz was over by 1942, her mum May was evacuated there for the birth. Her father Harry was serving elsewhere with the Homeguard and not present for the birth. He received the news in a short and business-like telegram, which he kept as a keepsake and passed down to Val.
May and baby Val returned to London shortly after and resumed the rhythm of wartime life in Brownswood Road, Finsbury Park, North London. Days out in nearby Clissold Park were a lovely distraction from wartime, even if towards the end this proved dangerous. The sound of overhead V1 doodlebug rockets would send May and Val running with baby sister Barbara for shelter underneath the park benches!
After the war, May and Harry took their young family to live in Folkestone, his birth town. Home was an upstairs two bedroom council flat in Wood Avenue. Although cramped and cold in the winter with icicles inside the windows, it was a good home in a place where neighbours looked out for one another. When Mum was diagnosed with a kidney defect at an early age, the medical advice was to eat plenty of oranges rich in Vitamin C and this proved particularly challenging. Post war rationing was still in force and oranges were scarce and exotic. Word was spread around the local area and the community rallied around, tracking down every last orange they could lay their hands on to help with her recovery.
May and Harry worked hard to make ends meet. May held several jobs at the same time, moving between them throughout the day. At Folkestone Town football ground in Cheriton Road, she served teas and snacks on match days to the supporters who included Harry. When the game finished, she would have to walk Mum and Barbara home to Wood Avenue, even though she had another job to go to, so Harry could enjoy his weekend, possibly in in the Martello pub on Dover Road where he was a well-known and liked regular!
Summer holidays were a happy time spent with her grandmother, sister and cousins Derek and Tony in Brownswood Road, London. In 1949 Mum started at George Spurgen Primary School on Marshall Street, where she proved an able student. At 11 she passed the entrance test for the girls Grammar school in Folkestone. May worked and saved hard to afford the uniform, including the straw boater hat. She proved equally capable at secondary school, studying diligently for O Level exams. Her tutor wanted her to continue with A-Levels and even mentioned university, however this wasn’t an option Mum was given; she came from a working class family and it was time to earn her keep. May arranged two job interviews. The least bad option proved to be the tax office on Rendevous Street where she started in 1961. Although she never particularly enjoyed this job, for years after Mum would point out the metal fire-escape steps that overlooked Payers Park with views to the old harbour. Here she would sit and enjoy the sun whilst studying tax books. After marriage, a librarian job at Wood Avenue library proved a better fit, surrounding Mum with books that became a lifelong companion.
Music and dancing was one of Mum's passions during her teenage years, enjoying regular dances at the Leas Cliff Hall listening to the touring big-bands and jiving the night away. In her early 20’s a chance meeting changed her life forever. Waiting for a lift with a friend Ruth at the Railway Bell in Dover Road, a car pulled up with Mick Kennedy and his friend, Trevor Crump. Although three years younger, Trevor was handsome and fun. They soon started dating.
Mum and Dad were engaged in April 1965, with Dad using his bonus from working on the Nuclear Power station in Dungeness to pay for the ring. They married two years later on April 15th 1967 at St Saviour's Church on the corner of Blackbull and Canterbury Road, with a reception held at the East Cliff Pavilion on Wear Bay Road. Mum and Dad's parents shared the cost of the reception and afterwards they honeymooned in Torquay, Devon.
Once married, Mum and Dad moved into a bungalow in Valebrook Close. Soon after when a detached house came on the market next to his parents in Downs Road, it was the perfect next move. Despite being a nearly new house built by local builder George Stone, the décor was old fashioned and Mum and Dad quickly set about renovating the house to the latest tastes. It was during these renovations that Dad had the life changing accident that shaped the rest of their lives together. Undeterred they both got on with life and not long after in May 1971, Vanessa was born. Despite his pain Dad managed to pick Mum up from hospital, driving his own car.
Just under three years later Vanessa was joined by Richard and we all settled into family life. Dad worked long hours for Len in the family Soreline Fish Bar and money was sometimes tight. A memorable holiday was organised by Dad in the late 1970’s. Using Exchange and Mart, he booked a holiday apartment in Blackpool, unseen. Mum was so horrified at the condition of the apartment, she made Dad take an old blanket out of the car to lay over the pillows so we didn't have to touch them! According to Ness, it rained a lot on that holiday! Another memorable early family holiday was to the Hotel Presidente in Benidorm, where Ness won the largest teddy bear ever seen on the bingo!
Ness and Rich attended Park Farm school on Park Farm Road and whilst Vanessa was happy to walk herself to and from school after the first day, Richard wasn’t and four times daily Mum had to walk Richard to and from school and then home for lunch. That was until tuna sandwiches, chipsticks and jelly lured him to have packed lunches! It was during this time that Mum developed her dependable and much loved cuisine. Particular family favourites included quiche, macaroni cheese with a crunchy top, shepherds pie, mince beef pastry pie (affectionately known as Cow Pie by Dad). Apple sponge and cream was a favourite pudding! Sunday was always a roast lunch with the whole family, prepared all morning in the kitchen whilst listening to the Archers omnibus on Radio 4. In fact, Radio 4 was a lifelong companion, always on in the background until night time when the World Services took over.
Learning to drive was a proud achievement and Mum put this to good use running Ness and Rich around and picking up Dad every night from the Clarendon or Brewery Tap after work. Dad purchased her her own car on several occasions. Some were a bit ropey - but she especially liked the blue Ford Escort – B431 MLP. Sadly it was short lived as Dad's Granada was stolen not long after and the Escort was sacrificed to pay for another Granada!
During the 80s some memorable family holidays took us all to Malta on three occasions and once to Scotland. The Great Glen holiday park in the Highlands she always said was her favourite holiday. With Barbara, Jim and Barry, an action-packed holiday took in pony trekking, ice skating, boat trips on the loch and a memorable day trip to the Isle of Skye. With Dad too drunk to drive and Jim being fed sleeping pills instead of heart pills by mistake, it was lucky we all made it back from the pub on the island in one piece!
Although very family orientated, Mum established a firm friendship with June and Joan from Downs Road. Together they used to spend days chatting and drink tea, wandering between each other’s gardens and houses, and even went on a Sun £10 holiday!
As we grew into adulthood, Mum continued to be there for us, whenever we needed support or guidance. Shopping and lunch trips together to Canterbury or West End of London was always enjoyable time spent together, although nothing could ever replicate the joy sitting together drinking lime milkshakes in Debenhams Folkestone!
After we left Folkestone to live in Colchester and Bournemouth, Mum busied herself looking after her mum May whilst keeping her house in impeccable order. Her first grandchild arrived in 2010 when Seb was born and she effortlessly slotted into the role of nanny, joined a year later by Freya. Seb and Freya loved their nanny and trips down to Folkestone were a real highlight of the year. Outings together to the sandy play park on the Lower Leas and Dover Castle were guaranteed to please all. With Poppy and Kenya to look after in Colchester as well, Mum managed to keep herself busy, travelling north and west whenever possible.
Her latter years in Folkestone with Dad were quiet, but she kept her love of reading. For more than 50 years, Mum visited the library at Wood Avenue and later Grace Hill every two weeks, each time borrowing up to 4 books. Such was her voracious appetite for books, always thrillers, she exhausted the supply of authors and stories and frequently borrowed books she had read before, only remembering this once she was part-way through the book!
Dad died a few weeks after their 50th wedding anniversary on May 8th 2017. Mum maintained her independence, running and maintaining the house in Downs Road for four more years, and coping with prolonged isolation during Covid. During lockdown, along with her neighbour Gill, she would walk each week to Sainsburys in Park Farm for food shopping, sharing her trolley. Occasional trips to Canterbury on the bus were a favourite way to pass a day. Mum especially looked forward to family visits, whether a day trip from Derek and Chris or a longer visit from Barbara, Jim, Barry.
As the demands of maintaining a large house and gardens became more onerous, Mum decided in 2021 to leave Downs Road and Folkestone, her home for more than 70 years, to start a new life in Suffolk closer to Vanessa. Sadly, she did not have long to enjoy her new bungalow in Hadleigh. In June 2022, she was admitted to Ipswich hospital and later transferred to a specialist surgical unit in Addenbrookes hospital in Cambridge. Here she celebrated her 80th birthday with Vanessa by her side. After major surgery and several months of grueling rehabilitation, Mum left hospital and returned home on Boxing Day 2022. In March 2023 she left home again to return to hospital in Ipswich. On Tuesday 4th April Mum made her final short journey to St Elizabeth hospice in Ipswich, where she stayed until her passing on Friday 7th, with Vanessa and Richard by her side and Johnny Mathis to send her on her way.
Mum, thank you. You raised your children to be successful and happy in their lives. You gave of yourself when needed and asked little in return. Your family will never forget you.
Good night and God bless you XXXX
